To Relax or Not to Relax

Many moons ago, well not really, maybe 20 or so years ago, I cut all my hair off. I was married at the time and my spontaneity was not well received. 

I loved it! I felt a certain sense of liberation. All I had to do was wake up in the morning, feel the warm water from the shower head cascade down my beautiful dome, get out and brush it, and that was that. Off to work!

I remember being in undergrad and taking a writing class. We had to write an article about “anything”. So I chose to write about my hair. 

Man! I wish I could find that article so I could share some excerpts from it with you. 

Writing that article about my hair was so cathartic. It caused me to examine my honest feelings of who I am and what I truly liked and dislike about my follicles. 

I think the title of it was “I Am Not My Hair” at the time India.Arie just came out with the song and its lyrics mesmerized me. 

In the article I stated that I preferred my hair relaxed when it was long. When I was little, I enjoyed how I would run down the hallway of my house just so the breeze would catch just right and my hair would flap.  

 I also talked about how my great grandfather on my mother’s side was to blame for my texture as he was African and my great grandmother was Indian. Yeah. I was brutally honest. 

As I continued with this self-examining article, I realized that my beauty was not defined by my hair or hair texture. Also, whether I choose to relax or wear it natural is totally my choice. 

I since then have a whole new appreciation and love for who I am. All the things I love about Tash; my laugh, my thought process, my loyalty to friends, my generosity, my thoughtfulness, my youthfulness, and so much more.  

 You see…I’m not my hair. I catch myself now when fellow naturals wanna dive back into the pool of the “cremey crack” by not shaming them for wanting to go back relaxed. 

Sometimes, it’s the simple reason of convenience. I totally get it. Doesn’t mean they have self-hate or at least that’s what I know about my natural friends. 

Do you. Natural or straight! ROCK IT OUT! In fact, today I had a taste of the relaxer bug myself  because sometimes I just want a break. That’s all. Maintaining natural hair can be a handful especially when you have a lot of it like me. 

Truth be told, me being a creature of change, I would probably get bored of my hair being straight all the time anyway.  

 Anyhoooo…I’m still natural…for now. LOL

Who knows what I’ll do next…

2 thoughts on “To Relax or Not to Relax

  1. Robi's Gumbo says:

    The struggle is real!!! This was my second time trying to transition. I decided to go back to the relaxer (for now) until I find a hair stylist that can help me transition my hair back to its natural texture.

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